Yes, I meant that.
If you are not 21+ or if you are offended by talk about casual sex, please skip this one! Don't step over this line.....
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Aging to Perfection as a woman at this point in life means…..
KNOWING you just had the worst sex of your life!
Being able to laugh when you get home and discover your slacks are now on inside out.
Accepting that sex for the pure enjoyment of it won’t elicit lightning bolts from the sky with your name on them.
And once you accept that, you ask for what you want—and need. And those bolts from heaven still don’t show up.
Understanding that we don’t have to pretend sex equals a relationship in all circumstances anymore.
It’s taken me a long time to get here. And to be honest, I’m still a bit hesitant to say that out loud, much less hit PUBLISH. But I have come to believe that our society sells us, especially girls, a complete lie about our sexuality. Throw in a bit of religious pomposity and it’s a recipe for disaster. We are to believe that a loving, Supreme Being made us with this extremely powerful, beautiful sex drive and yet tells us “Oh, sorry, you can’t actually DO that, unless you are [insert criteria here]”?
Aging to Perfection also knows that most of the folks saying those kinds of silly things are disregarding them when no one is looking anyway. Especially if they are male.
And that lie leads to a lifetime of heartbreak for many of us as we try in vain to find that ONE, PERFECT match that will last us FOREVER. All while hiding—and even denying--the beauty and potency of our sensual , sexual sides. The guilt can be back breaking.
I’m not here to judge anyone’s relationship. If you have been with your partner for eons and all parts of your relationship have matured for both of you right along with the passing years, I celebrate your union! I stand in awe. I also assure you that your partner is safe from me; recognizing one’s sexuality does not equate to being unethical in any area of life.
But I have known both men and women who have been married 5 or more times simply because they were taught that in order to satisfy that potent sexual drive they had to marry first. So, they did. Over and over again, to the detriment of all those partners and lots of children that resulted from such a misguided doctrine. (Of course, suddenly the religious sanction against divorce was conveniently rationalized away. Go figure.)
I have come to accept that unless a couple truly yearns for children, forced monogamy with legal approval is irresponsible and unrealistic. Treating others with respect and honesty about what we need, while staying safe and rejoicing in being sexual beings is just as valid a goal. It comes down to the willing agreement of both parties in ANY partnership. And the additional understanding that people change over time and the agreement can change, too.
Another thing that I have learned as I’m Aging to Perfection is to be honest. I don’t mind saying things that others are only thinking any more. If I’ve offended you, well, I warned you, didn’t I?
"Because you are women, people will force their thinking on you, their boundaries on you. They will tell you how to dress, how to behave, who you can meet and where you can go. Don't live in the shadows of people's judgement. Make your own choices in the light of your own wisdom."
Amitabh Bachchan